Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Just Who Is Agent M?

"The shady man behind the elephant... a hand reaching for a paper... a ring with a eagle.
Sounds like a mans ring but was the hand masculine or feminine. Was the hand calloused or smooth. What do these clues mean? The only thing I know for sure is, The shady character was not Agent M.

Who is this Agent M.? A husband, a poet, a hippy, a father, and when he is having a good day, a gourmet chef. Obviously, a man with many hats, and a separate persona for each.

Answer this riddle and you will know the Identity of the mysterious (or at least unknown) Agent M. Here is the riddle:

I live in a city in Indiana. I am a bull, but not a bovine. Forget the second vowel.

I await your next transmission."

I received this in my mail box the other day. Perhaps he is the one who has been watching me. I turn street corners and see people turn away from me. Perhaps I am just paranoid now that I have been told to date the two suspicious characters that I have come into contact with.

From the letter I received I am guessing that Agent M is a Spanish bull fighter or perhaps someone who is an Indian whose name means bull.
The more I think about it the more confused I get. It must be those late nights and early mornings. I really should shoot the rooster.

Let's see....the second vowel in the alphabet is e. So I should remove all the e's in the clue.....No, that doesn't work.

More sleep is needed before I can work out this clue.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Undercover Tourist

Wow, what an exciting day!
Why do they send me on these no go assignments.
Ok ok it was only my second assignment but still, I did not see a plastic bag (except around food) nor large sum of money all day.
Fortunately it was a warm day and I did manage to make the most of my time at S_B_. I think I got a little bit of a tan from being outdoors most of the day also.
My day started off with receiving instructions and a briefing with a photo ID of the suspicious character I was supposed to tail. That went off well and then I was out of there, in my Hawaiian shirt and thongs. (thongs being the things you wear on your feet!)
Stepping out into the bright sunshine from a fully stopped car, I donned my glasses, a smile across my face as I planned to enjoy this. I checked the batteries and memory card in my touristy type camera, then headed down to the spit, walking towards my point of view. Well where I would be watching things take place.
I figured, that if this doesn't work out then I would have had at least a good time of practicing my picture taking skills.
Looking at the elephant sculpture, I noticed the character I was to take pictures of, was already there so I set myself up to pretend I was admiring the elephant. The adrenalin was rushing as my excitement grew, with camera up to my eye and focusing on 'him'. What would he do but then move out of my sight. Can't a suspect ever stay still.
I lowered the camera and scanned the area for him to only see him coming towards me. What was I going to do. I couldn't help it but my cheeks burned a fierce red when he smiled charmingly at me.
Do you know what he wanted? He wanted me to take his photo next to the statue. Well what could I do but oblige, so I took his photo and then quickly snapped one of my own, pretending (well not too hard) to be interested in his 'fine' features. He then gave me a card with his number on it. Man what do I do?
Well I watched, from afar mostly, and nothing happened, but I did get that awesome shot of him and the elephant.
HO was happy with the shot and they did see something interesting in the one I did take.
The elephant had a shady (literally) character behind it, reaching for a paper beneath the elephant. All they could see was a hand (not in the shade) with a ring carrying the crest of an eagle on it.

Oh, and just who is Agent M? I have heard him mentioned more then once.

Monday, July 19, 2004

I Spy With My Little Eye

I spy with my little eye something begining with H
I spied 'Hey, you'
This suspicious character seems to have a thing for Sharon Stone. He is in his 40's, has a little family unit consisting of both wife and kids, and writes rather interesting tidbits.

Who will 'I Spy' next?

Friday, July 16, 2004

What A Week!

Phew! What a week I have had!
After that incident when I was dressed up as the postman, I received nothing but paperwork, being the butt of many jokes and of course the date.
I will fill you in on the date shortly but first I must tell you.
I have been given another undercover assignment, though this time it is a little more real then the previous one. I have been asked to pose as a tourist and take some surveillance photos of a big drug heist going down at S__ in B__. This is so exciting. I will fill you in when I know more.
Now to the date.
Big Nigel, ahh Randall Badgery, was rather boring and talked more about how I 'saved' his life then anything else. Of course I was under orders to report anything suss in what he was telling me.
Well, I first met him at this nice little Thai restaurant in A__ and we dined while I listened to him talk about me being there at the right time and how beautiful I was. I can say that I only briefly took in what he was saying as I was more prone to avoiding the bits of rice that flew out of his mouth in my direction, as he talked. The food was nice right up until the time that a large bit of spittle fell atop my half finished meal. I had to pretend I was not hungry anymore.
Well after that meal was finished he asked if I wanted to see a movie with him, of course I had to turn it down as I honestly do not think I could stand another couple of hours of dodging popcorn crumbs. I made my excuses and headed off home.
For some reason I was sure there was someone following me. One minute there were headlights in my rear view mirror, then they were gone.
I will keep an eye on this over the next week.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

First On Field Assignment

I finally got out of the office and into a disguise.
I was so excited, up until the time they showed me what I would be wearing. I was to be dressed up as a post man, ahh post woman, or post person for those politically correct.
They wanted me to walk along delivering the mail on this street that I know. This street has many houses and just as many dogs.
I did not think it funny when they laughed and asked if I had a good pair of running shoes. If I had not been trying to get back in the good books with the boss I would have stuffed the mail satchel in their laughing mouths.
I almost forgot what I was meant to be doing when I was dropped off at the top of the street. I do wish the car had actually stopped though because then I would not have skinned my knee. Well I picked myself up, the spilt mail up and pulled out my secret weapon from my pocket.
The small bag contained a can of citronella spray, and some nice chewy dog treats. I was armed and ready to survive the dogs of this street.
Straightening my hat, I started on the mail delivery. With senses alert, I slowly traveled down the street, one house, two houses, three houses and not a sound from the dogs. Suddenly the screeching of tyres could be heard as a car rounded the corner rather quickly and into my street. Looking up from what I was doing I noted it to a big black....and coming straight for me. I caught a glimpse of the driver before turning and dashing out of it's path. It was the same person whom I had suspected in the cafe. I was onto something.
The car swerved again and managed to head back onto the road with little damage to a nearby fence, disappearing into the distance. With heart beating fast I regained my senses and mail and continued on, unaware of the 2 sets of eyes watching me.
It was the heavy breathing that caught my attention, followed by the low growl the huge black beasts was emitting. I quickly doused them in extra chewy dog treats and hurriedly continued my post run.
Two houses left to go and I am once again roused by the two black beasts, this time they are barking, but not at me. I turn, watch as they bark at someone who is very familiar to me. I do not know this person except by the photographs that we have posted down back at the office. He is often referred to as Big Nigel but I do not know why, he isn't that big and his name is Randall Badgery.
Anyhow, he is backed up against a tree, the two beasts converging on him. I quickly finish the last two houses and take off in his direction, playing the concerned postal worker. (Why does this make me laugh) I throw treats at the dogs, but this does not work, I fumble, almost loosing the spray but finally I grasp it, spraying it towards the dogs. This is when something strange happens, instead of the dogs backing away, they just fall over, asleep and snoring!
I pull up the can, forgetting about Big Nigel and look at it closer. The rascals down at the office switched it for sleeping spray. I laugh and turn around, suddenly remembering Big Nigel. Now another strange thing happens and he gives me this grateful smile and asks me out on a date. Me, on a date?
Anyhow, he gives me his business card, writes on the back the time and place and hurries off to deal with what he has to deal with, leaving a very stunned 'postal' worker and two snoring dogs.
Suddenly, coming to my senses I rush off as the dogs come to theirs and head back to the office.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Office Duties

After the coffee fiasco, I have been confined to office duties and not allowed any drinks at the desk. That is so unfair of them.
The time at the desk did serve well though, I managed to scan through the most wanted list in search of that person from the cafe. Unfortunately I did not find them, perhaps they are kept in the extra secure security files. Now if only I could get that level of clearance, then perhaps I could have a look in and find this mystery person.
Back to work.
Gee I hate filing!

Monday, July 05, 2004


I was at a street side cafe the other morning, minding my own business and looking through a bunch of files they gave me down at the office.
Suddenly I heard this high pitched beeping and vibrating coming from my left pocket. My first thought was "Oh no, it is a bomb about to explode" but then I realised it was just my beeper.
Upon my realisation that it was just a beeper, another thought crossed my mind, it was the series of events that had unfurled as the beeping echoed in the ears of everyone in the nearby tables.
The other patrons of the side walk cafe reached for their pockets, only one continuing on with their breakfast as if nothing unnatural happened. (I shall have to observe this suspicious character when I next dine at the cafe)
As I jumped from my seat, the most unbelievable thing occured, the table got knocked which sent my freshly brewed coffee over the files and then, as if in slow motion, the coffee splashing back up to drench my newly pressed dress pants. That liquid did leave a nasty mark.
But after the surprise of the beeper, the hot liquid scorching my skin, I stepped back, tripping over the leg of my chair, flailing as I tipped over, and catching a laden waiter. My cheeks were red by now and it wasn't just because of the tomato sauce that landed on them, and the scrambled eggs on my head, bacon down my blouse and orange juice upon the pavement.
I do hope they let me eat there again, I am sure that patron was up to no good.