Thursday, July 08, 2004

First On Field Assignment

I finally got out of the office and into a disguise.
I was so excited, up until the time they showed me what I would be wearing. I was to be dressed up as a post man, ahh post woman, or post person for those politically correct.
They wanted me to walk along delivering the mail on this street that I know. This street has many houses and just as many dogs.
I did not think it funny when they laughed and asked if I had a good pair of running shoes. If I had not been trying to get back in the good books with the boss I would have stuffed the mail satchel in their laughing mouths.
I almost forgot what I was meant to be doing when I was dropped off at the top of the street. I do wish the car had actually stopped though because then I would not have skinned my knee. Well I picked myself up, the spilt mail up and pulled out my secret weapon from my pocket.
The small bag contained a can of citronella spray, and some nice chewy dog treats. I was armed and ready to survive the dogs of this street.
Straightening my hat, I started on the mail delivery. With senses alert, I slowly traveled down the street, one house, two houses, three houses and not a sound from the dogs. Suddenly the screeching of tyres could be heard as a car rounded the corner rather quickly and into my street. Looking up from what I was doing I noted it to a big black....and coming straight for me. I caught a glimpse of the driver before turning and dashing out of it's path. It was the same person whom I had suspected in the cafe. I was onto something.
The car swerved again and managed to head back onto the road with little damage to a nearby fence, disappearing into the distance. With heart beating fast I regained my senses and mail and continued on, unaware of the 2 sets of eyes watching me.
It was the heavy breathing that caught my attention, followed by the low growl the huge black beasts was emitting. I quickly doused them in extra chewy dog treats and hurriedly continued my post run.
Two houses left to go and I am once again roused by the two black beasts, this time they are barking, but not at me. I turn, watch as they bark at someone who is very familiar to me. I do not know this person except by the photographs that we have posted down back at the office. He is often referred to as Big Nigel but I do not know why, he isn't that big and his name is Randall Badgery.
Anyhow, he is backed up against a tree, the two beasts converging on him. I quickly finish the last two houses and take off in his direction, playing the concerned postal worker. (Why does this make me laugh) I throw treats at the dogs, but this does not work, I fumble, almost loosing the spray but finally I grasp it, spraying it towards the dogs. This is when something strange happens, instead of the dogs backing away, they just fall over, asleep and snoring!
I pull up the can, forgetting about Big Nigel and look at it closer. The rascals down at the office switched it for sleeping spray. I laugh and turn around, suddenly remembering Big Nigel. Now another strange thing happens and he gives me this grateful smile and asks me out on a date. Me, on a date?
Anyhow, he gives me his business card, writes on the back the time and place and hurries off to deal with what he has to deal with, leaving a very stunned 'postal' worker and two snoring dogs.
Suddenly, coming to my senses I rush off as the dogs come to theirs and head back to the office.